


She came just like the sun

by EyesSoQuiet



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dominant Ben Solo, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Mutual Pining, Quarantine, Sexual Tension, Unrequited Crush, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 07:41:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23847613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EyesSoQuiet/pseuds/EyesSoQuiet
Summary: "What is it that I do that makes me so intolerable, Rey?”He bent his head, searching her eyes. Rey clenched her jaw. He had a way to make her say mean, wicked things :“Being yourself, I guess.”Or: Rey has to put up with her confusing feelings for her insanely attractive, extremely dumb roommate during quarantine.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 67





	She came just like the sun

**Author's Note:**

> Grey pyjama pants. That's it. That's the fic.

Leia’s unusual soft tone of voice was intended to be comforting and optimistic, but Rey didn’t totally buy it. She hummed  _ yesses  _ and grunted sounds of agreement at her boss’ tirade about how everything would be back to normal soon, and everyone she knew would be okay and safe, but the reality was Rey couldn’t stop chewing her nails and imagining the worst. 

“It’s probably not gonna be for long. And it’s safe where you are. I know the context isn’t ideal but you could see it as a little vacation. You’ve been working so hard, you deserve the rest.” 

She had been living as a guest in the Organa-Solo’s house in the small but charming city of Chandrila for a bit more than ten days now, sharing it with her boss’ son Ben. They had been free of movement so far, but the mayor announced the day before that quarantine would take place here too, just like in Coruscant, where she was from.

“You know I get nervous when I’ve nothing to do.” 

Leia snorted fondly.

“I know you do.” 

“Maybe you and Han could come too, there’s enough place for the four of us,” Rey suggested.

Leia’s laughter was booming from the other end of the phone. It was soothing to hear her being careless and casual like nothing could reach her; Leia had been Rey’s rock for more than a year now, and she couldn’t take even the idea of her being seriously ill.

“Oh, honey, are you sure you’ve met my son? ” 

Rey recognized the raucous, grouchy voice of Han asking his wife what she was laughing about. “Rey just suggested the four of us should stay in Chandrila. I mean… seeing the two of you fight all the time and try to kill each other would provide her a distraction for sure.” 

Rey could hear the smile in Leia’s voice, but she was not amused at all. In fact, she felt resentment for the man she knew was the cause of two of her favorite persons on earth to be in danger of catching the nasty virus.

Behind her, she could feel Ben’s looming presence, silently listening to the conversation. His arms were probably crossed on his chest, brows knitted in grim disapproval, his usual stance. She understood he hated his dad, but did he even have a good reason to? Han was a bit hard to read at first, he didn’t really allow himself to show his emotions, but everyone who took the time to learn to know him ended taking a liking to the old man. He was not the most reliable, sure, but he would never go out of his way to hurt anyone.

The same could not be said about his tight-lipped, dark-eyed son. 

“Rey, honey, tell me if you need anything. In the meantime, I’ll leave you in the hands of Ben. Don’t worry about us, sweetheart.” 

“Thank you so much, Leia. Again. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” 

They exchanged goodbyes before Rey hung up.

“Is everything okay?” 

Rey turned. She did not expect to find Ben standing in the threshold, hands grabbing the top of the door frame, the position giving a flattering view of his large arms. She sighed, quickly averting her eyes and silently chastising herself for still noticing these things after everything he did. 

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” 

He shrugged in a nonchalant way, but their discussions never were. There was an underlying tension that  _ always  _ snapped at the last moment and turned into an argument. 

“You just talked to her.”

“Why not let them come here? It’s safer. Your parents are not all that young.” 

The way Ben rolled his eyes and disregarded whatever she had to say was truly infuriating, but she learned to push on with him. He raised his voice a bit : 

“It’s their house. They can do whatever the fuck they want, can’t they? They already proved that.” 

That particular pique was aimed at her, Rey knew. He never hid the fact that he hated sharing his precious space with her, that she was a nuisance that troubled his peace. 

“Obviously not. They’re scared of you.” He scoffed at that, a bitter smile stretching his face. “They’re afraid you’ll–” 

He put his hands on his chest in a defensive manner.

“Afraid I what? What is it that I do that makes me so intolerable, Rey?” 

He bent his head, searching her eyes. Rey clenched her jaw. He had a way to make her say mean, wicked things : 

“Being yourself, I guess.”

It didn’t feel right to deliberately try to hurt him, but she was past the point of letting guilt prevent her from striking back. 

If he was hurt, he didn’t show it. He nodded instead, now talking lower.

“If I was entirely being myself, things would be really different for you, here.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Ben’s gaze was dark. Rey could now recognize the signs : he was on the verge of getting angry.

“Forget it, Rey.” 

  
  
  


Why Ben made it sure that any semblance of friendship between the two of them was obliterated from the start, Rey had no idea. After eleven days of cohabitation, she was both relieved and disappointed to see that their interactions only amounted to “ _ Please do your dishes”  _ and  _ “You drank my milk again, get more tomorrow”,  _ mainly in the form of petty post-its cleverly displayed on Rey’s sodas stack in the fridge (who even knew the difference between whole and skim milk? And if Rey didn’t do her dishes for a whole day, was that so bad?).

Relieved because it meant she didn't have to hide her silly crush on her boss' son anymore, but not without a tinge of disappointment because... now she couldn't fantasize anymore about her temporary hot roommate silently sliding in her tiny bed at dawn to get her warm, with these hands and this chest, without feeling a prick of embarrassment at the thought that _he_ , on the other hand, couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as her. Rey knew that even though he was an asshole, he was a very out-of-her-reach asshole, like all men she’d had a crush on growing up. 

How fast she went from  _ Oh no, he's hot  _ to  _ wish-you-would-choke-on-your-organic-arugula-salad-and-die  _ gave her whiplash. 

* * *

_ 11 days before  _

Back when Rey was still an innocent, optimistic sunshine of a human being, she was excited to meet Ben Solo. Yes, she had heard a few negative things about him,  namely how ungrateful he’d been to his uncle, the one who formed him to get so far in his career.  And there were rumors about his... fits of anger. Temper tantrums. Whatever Poe had called them as he recalled how he once saw him get so mad that he took a heavy duty stapler and smashed it down on the glass of a copy machine, breaking it into smithereens.

But he quit his job in between, didn’t he? Everyone deserved a second chance, Rey believed. 

That’s how confident and cheerful she was when she knocked on Ben’s door, which was technically his parents’ apartment they landed to him as he tried to distance himself from Coruscant, where he was previously working. 

She was met with Ben’s unimpressed stare, after a four hours flight and  _ a lot  _ of stairs that finally lead her to her new home for the foreseeable future. 

_ God.  _ Instead of trying to convey Ben’s heated temperament through various anecdotes, why hadn’t Poe said something useful like “You should be careful of how tall he is, Rey. Or of the width of his shoulders. Did I mention the perfect smooth, dark hair?” 

He really was tall. And quite large. And not bad to look at, in his grey pyjama pants and white linen shirt. She tried to conjure her most brilliant smile, the one she reserved to impress people she just met.

“Hi!” 

“Yes?” He said, silently assessing her greasy hair, her  _ Mazzy Star  _ shirt, and the one suitcase at her feet that contained half of her life. 

Her smile faltered a little bit. Maybe he wasn’t aware she was supposed to arrive today…? Maybe he forgot? Maybe quarantine made him a bit  _ dense?  _

“I’m Rey.” 

“Yeah. I know.” 

She sniffed, still trying to catch her breath, and waited for him to invite her in. 

“Do you need help with…?” He nodded in the direction of her suitcase. 

“Oh, no! I only brought, like, three pairs of socks and one book. My friend doesn’t know I have access to her Amazon prime video account, so that’s my plan for the next weeks.” 

Rey kneeled to put a hand on her pet carrier.

“But I do have my best friend with me!” 

She turned the bag so Ben could see the nervous cat behind the little plastic window.

“ _ Who _ ?” 

“I present you : Buffy. Harbinger of death. Lord of chaos.” 

“You brought your cat  _ here _ ?” 

“Leia didn’t tell you? Weird.” 

Ben slowly stepped back as she dragged her stuff inside, taking a look around the lively living room.

“Woah. You mom decorated this place? It looks amazing.” 

She turned to watch Ben lock the door. He nodded once, and just stood there, staring at her. 

“I–”

“I will be in my room if you need anything,” he said before making a beeline for his room.

She watched in silent disbelief as he disappeared through the hall, hearing the noise of a door closing.  _ What the fuck?  _ She mouthed at nobody in particular. 

She knocked on the door of his bedroom, chewing her lower lip. 

“Yes?” He answered a bit too loudly to be completely casual. 

“Erm, I was wondering if you could…” Rey motioned behind her. “Show me my room?” 

“It’s this one,” he said, pointing to the door facing his room. 

“Oh! We’re neighbours. Fantastic!” 

_ Fantastic _ ? What the hell was wrong with her? This guy was going out of his way to be rude, and she was still trying to make him like her. 

Ben put a hand through his hair, still avoiding looking her into the eyes.

“Ok, huh, Rey. I’m working on something right now.” 

“Oh, sure, don’t mind me. See ‘ya later?” 

“Sure.” 

Rey backed into her new room, cheeks burning, and let her cat roam free. She started unpacking her things while shame literally burned her chest. That was the most awkward and embarrassing exchange she had since she once tried to have a one-night stand with a stranger and chickened out at the very last second possible. She could even say she felt a little worse  _ now _ than when she was trying to explain to this random guy that it didn’t matter if he was cool with period sex, it wouldn’t happen. 

Rey looked at her phone. It was a bit past seven, and Ben probably didn’t have his dinner yet. She had to come up with a plan to placate him and just  _ show  _ him that she was a nice girl and they could get along, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. 

So she waited, playing games after games of online poker on her phone until she heard his door creak. She waited a minute before joining him in the open kitchen. 

Ben was rummaging in the fridge when she spoke.

“I was planning on making dinner,” she said, one hand leaning on the counter. 

He slowly straightened and grabbed a small wooden cutting board. 

“I’m not gonna be long.” 

“No, I mean I was planning to cook for the both of us.” 

He looked at her like she was suddenly speaking an obscure language he didn’t understand.

“Cooking? For me?” 

She shrugged. “Do you like pasta?” 

“Pasta?  _ Only  _ pasta?” 

Rey started to lose her patience. What was his problem, repeating everything she said like she wasn’t making any sense?

“No! Of course not. Depends what we have at home.” 

“You mean what  _ I  _ have.” 

She shrugged.

“Huh, yeah, same thing now that I live here too.” 

He threw her an exasperated look. 

“I haven’t eaten pasta since I was nineteen,  _ Rey _ . And I don’t know what my mother told you about me, but I don’t need anyone cooking for me, or looking after me. I’m perfectly capable of making my own food.” 

Rey opened her mouth in disbelief.

“What does your mom have to do with me proposing to cook for us? I was just trying to be nice!” 

Ben grabbed a bowl and cracked two eggs with one hand. He started to furiously mix them. 

“She’s the reason why you’re here.” 

She took a step towards him, but he still wouldn’t look her in the eyes.

“Does that bother you?” 

He reached for a pan behind him, and she followed to face him.

“No. No, Rey. It absolutely does not bother me to see a stranger invade my intimacy.” 

“This is your  _ parent’s  _ house, and I’m not a stranger to them.”

He finally stopped making his disgusting veggie omelette to look at her.

“Yeah?” He said in a challenging tone. “Who are you for them?” 

“I–I work for Leia! And I’m their friends. I’ve been going to every sunday dinner they had while you missed them all.” 

Ben scoffed again, a small, mocking smile on his face. 

“It’s a seven hours drive. Besides, I’m used to my parents trying to replace me with a better version of their child. It happened with Poe all the time, then Kaydel, and now you.” 

“Who’s Kaydel?” 

“One of my mom’s  _ many  _ charity cases.” 

A silence fell in the kitchen. Rey nervously fiddled with her necklace as he looked at her, waiting for the next blow. It was obvious that he was very used to these kind of confrontations. She was too, but she usually didn’t  _ create  _ them out of nowhere. She felt a rush of anger blooming in her belly that she tried to suppress by swallowing hard.

“You know what, Ben? I really wanted to be your friend here. It took me a lot of efforts and good will to put everything I’ve been told about you  _ aside  _ and–” 

Ben sneered.

“What did you hear about me, Rey?” 

She put her hands down.

“That you were a fucking asshole. And I’m sad to see it was all true.” 

She turned her back on him, closed fists at her side, and slammed her door. The stunned look on his face was brought her little satisfaction compared to the sting she felt at having been called a  _ charity case.  _

* * *

  
  
  


_ Now  _

Rey woke up grumpy and disoriented. She hadn’t been able to sleep until five in the morning, when the birds started singing at the first lights of day. It was a little past eleven, which meant Ben had already had his breakfast, as he woke up  _ everyday  _ at nine to not “mess with his circadian rhythm”. Rey dragged her feet to the kitchen, forsaking her morning shower and fixed herself a bowl of caramel and chocolate cereal. She yawned as she eyed with curiosity Ben’s little homemade power rack, with its bars and weights. 

Fitness never had been her great friend. She never had time nor money to work out, and the little strength she acquired with time was a result of necessity and the harsh conditions of her past life. But now that she had time, she could maybe change that. Wasn’t that what people did and encouraged to do during this crisis? 

The truth is that she had put on quite a bit of weight during the past year. This was the natural, healthy outcome of actually affording three real meals a day that weren’t burger king or chips and salsa from the Indian at the corner,  _ and  _ the relief of having a reliable job that paid enough so she didn’t have to constantly pull out her hair in stress at the thought of not making it for rent this month. 

So, Rey had now a bit more meat to keep her warm during harsh winters. She couldn’t see her ribs protruding from her sides anymore when she was dissecting her physique in the mirror. A small but delicate belly was visible when she was standing from the side, and her arms didn’t look so much like frail twigs. 

She had always dreamed of a more feminine, shapely body. But now she had second thoughts about it. In all of her years she had gotten used to her  _ before- _ body, the one that, if not remarkable, was at least perfectly acceptable. Yes, it was somewhat  _ lacking,  _ she thought, but one couldn’t otherwise pinpoint defaults. Now she had to deal with the jeans that didn’t fit anymore, the fresh, cherry-red stretch marks that mapped the new roundness of her ass, and the unexpected mix of hesitation and guilt when her hand casually reached for that appetizing fourth slice of pizza. 

That was a lot to deal with in such a short span of time, which is why she was not exactly delighted to add  _ burdensome, judgemental gaze of a hot guy  _ to the list. She could manage her own harsh thoughts and opinions, but to be under the scrutiny of someone else, someone who was always there to assess and notice and just  _ see,  _ was making her incredibly self conscious. 

Not only was Ben Solo Hot ™ ,  he was also ridiculously fit. He was, to her great chagrin, the kind that worked out religiously five times a week, gym bag always on the ready, shaker of proteins in hand. He kept track of his fat percentage, how much he could lift, and perhaps the most annoying for her : he followed a strict diet that she learned soon enough he  _ never, ever  _ cheated on. 

That made it particularly humiliating for her to let him see what  _ her  _ diet constituted of : mainly pasta with white or red sauce that came in a jar, and take-out. Greasy, fattening, finger-licking good amounts of junk food she had politely proposed to share the first time she ordered out since she moved with him, after she caught him staring at her plate of french fries and hot chicken wings. He’d just shook his head, not meeting her eyes, and went back to his own room, seething mint green tea in hand.  _ Fuck him,  _ she had thought, greeting her teeth, all the while knowing she was overreacting. 

From that day on, she did her thing on her side of the kitchen, ate her delicious food in front of her latest favorite show, and let him have his sad plate of unseasoned broccoli and breast chicken that he always ate in record time at the kitchen table, back to her. 

It was with these morose thoughts that she washed her now empty bowl. 

She could try some pushups. Some squats. Just to get more toned and maybe lift her ass a little. She had a youtube playlist that only consisted of easy, equipment free exercises she could do at home that she never got around to try.

She sat down next to Ben’s stuff and breathed in deeply. She could do this. Rome wasn't built in a day, and so was every hot fitness influencer’ asses she followed on instagram.

She tried a few crunches, but she only could go all the way with great efforts, each time losing her balance by having her feet awkwardly raise from the ground.

She jumped at Ben’s voice.

“You’re gonna fuck up your back like that.” 

He was watching her like a vulture, fresh out of the shower, hair curling at the brow. He wasn't wearing a shirt, as was more and more the case for the past few days. 

“What do you want?” Rey could only hope her voice conferred enough annoyance to hide the thrill she felt at seeing him so uncovered.

He stepped closer.

“You need to train these obliques more before a movement like that.” 

Rey arched her brows, unimpressed.

“You need to stop telling me what to do.” 

Ben shrugged. He grabbed the back of a chair from the kitchen table and dragged it so he could sit and face her.

“I just wanna help you,” he said, munching on some almonds. ‘...if you want to reach that goal of four minutes of plank by the end of the month.”

Rey frowned. She had mentioned in a conversation call with her friend Rose a few days before that she wanted to be able to be more athletic. The four minutes plank was a long-time goal of hers.

“How do you even know that it’s my goal?” 

“The walls here are thinner than you think,” he said, serious as ever.

“Stop spying on my conversations with my friends.” 

He was ridiculously large, yeah, but now at least she could pretend she was red because of how infuriated he made her. Though he didn’t seem particularly bothered by that...he continued eating, careless.

“I’m not spying on you, Rey. You just need to learn to be more discrete.” 

Rey frowned. Was he fucking with her? 

“Do you  _ hear  _ yourself? Sometimes I just want to– i want to–” 

He raised his eyebrows, eyes glinting with the faintest hint of amusement that she couldn’t miss this time. 

“What? Kick my ass?”

He raised from his chair and took an appraising look at her body, one that made her feel  _ something  _ in her belly.

“Not with those obliques.” 

He walked out of the room before she could answer.

* * *

  
  
  


Rey was good at enduring. She’d  _ endured  _ a lot in her life, and among all that had brought her pain, there was absolutely no doubt for her that solitude was the worst. 

Thankfully, she had met Finn, another orphan and her first roommate back in Coruscant that she’d met through a social worker. And then Leia, Han, and her now closest friend Rose. She’d adopted the most perfect cat in the world that she was currently holding close to her chest. And all of these people that she loved more than she ever thought possible all filled the hole in her heart, little by little, until loneliness was just a vast memory. 

But being here alone– Ben’s presence didn’t exactly count– revived some painful thoughts that she’d rather ignore. Thoughts like  _ you’re all alone in the world.  _

_ Even in the middle of people, you’re on your own. Never forget.  _

There was no logic nor justification to these thoughts. It was just an overwhelming feeling released a hundredfold after a night of sad, solitary drinking. Three bottles of beers and a uncorked bottle of white wine sat on the low table. 

She was unable to get up and reach her bed on her own since two glasses of wine, and way too drunk to be bothered by the fact that Ben would find her passed out on the couch in the morning, dead to the world, half of their alcohol gone in one night. 

Even Buffy jumped out of her lap and left, trotting away.

She let the low glow of the TV screen lull her to sleep, her feet and arms freezing from the cold air but too gone to do anything about it now, and slowly faded into this state of half-consciousness that preceded sleep. 

...until a hand brushed her shoulder, mercilessly pulling her out of her catnap and back into harsh reality. 

“Rey?” 

She hummed in response, but it sounded more like a whine. 

“Rey, are you drunk?” 

The hand was warm on her shoulder. It was probably Ben’s hand, but her eyes wouldn’t focus, too tired to find out who was speaking.

“ _ No ‘m sleepin’,”  _ she mumbled. 

The hand dragged along her arm, deliciously warm against her skin, and she let out a tiny moan at the feeling. 

“You’re cold,” the voice said, and yeah, she was  _ so  _ cold. The only way to make her warm, she thought, would be if this hand shared its divine heat by touching her all over, caress her until her temperature rose to acceptable levels. 

Instead it left her, and Rey couldn’t stop the whine from leaving her throat. 

_ Shh,  _ the voice said, and Rey had just enough sense left in her to watch Ben drape something over her.  _ A quilt,  _ she realized. She grabbed it with eager hands, pulling it tightly to her chin.

“Wait, don’t leave.” 

Her hand looked blindly for him in the semi-darkness. She caught his hand in hers. “Don’t leave me.” 

“Just go to bed, Rey,” he said, pulling away. “I’m not leaving,” he added in a voice so soft he hardly could be heard. And just as she closed her eyes, coaxed back into sleep after his reassurance, Rey swore she could feel a knuckle brush against her cheek, something she wouldn’t remember the day after. 


End file.
